In this episode, I will teach a lesson on how to use kind words and I encourage you to have your family and children listen together. We can choose to be kind in the way we speak. Every time we open our mouths to speak we have choices. We can choose to talk to our children kindly, passively or unkindly.
When we speak negatively it focuses our attention on what is wrong with our world and our circumstances. It doesn’t help improve things, it makes our life worse.
An unkind remark to another person can range from seemingly harmless to truly hurtful. The truth is, however, whether we’re being simply sarcastic or being cruel, the effects are similar. Both types of remarks leave the giver and the receiver feeling negative and critical. The reverse is also true. When we speak kindly of others it focuses our attention on their goodness. When we speak kindly of our circumstances it turns our thoughts toward gratitude for what we have.
Discussion for Family from Short Story:
1. Why do you think the man in the story gave his shoes to the little girl?
2. Do we sometimes think kind thoughts, but we’re too afraid to say them? What are we afraid of?
Assignment:
1. With everyone participating, name five kind things you can say to make someone happy. (Example: “Thank you,” “I like the way you look today,” “You’re a good friend,” “I love you,” “You did a great job!”)
2. Make a special effort to use kind words in your home.
3. All family members give one compliment each day for a week.
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This is Solutions for Families – where parents come with problems and leave with solutions. I’m Paula Fellingham – thank you for joining me!
Hello and welcome! Today’s episode is a Lesson for Families: How to Use Kind Words
The sainted Catholic nun, Mother Teresa, said, “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” Kind words have the power to heal and to lift. Speaking kindly shows that we care about the person we’re talking to. We all feel good when we say kind things to others and when kind things are said to us. On the other hand, when we’re spoken to harshly, it is easy to lash back defensively and speak unkindly. Along with harsh words come unpleasant feelings such as anger, sadness, and regret.
When we speak negatively it focuses our attention on what is wrong with our world and our circumstances. It doesn’t help improve things, it makes our life worse.
An unkind remark to another person can range from seemingly harmless to truly hurtful. The truth is, however, whether we’re being simply sarcastic or being cruel, the effects are similar. Both types of remarks leave the giver and the receiver feeling negative and critical. The reverse is also true. When we speak kindly of others it focuses our attention on their goodness. When we speak kindly of our circumstances it turns our thoughts toward gratitude for what we have.
Here’s an example of how one person chose to speak kindly to a stranger:
A gentleman in the grocery store waited at the check-out while a young mother struggled with two children. As the man watched the scene he noticed how incredibly patient the check-out clerk was. The clerk calmed the young mother, helped her with her coupons, and even held the baby while the woman counted her money. After the mother left, the gentleman said to the clerk, “I’m so impressed with your patience and kindness with that customer.” The clerk looked at him sincerely and said, “Thank you, sir. You are the first customer in eight years to give me a compliment.”
We will be delighted to discover that as we notice and acknowledge people’s goodness, that is what we will see. We will recognize the beautiful rose instead of the thorn, the glass half full instead of half empty. We will enjoy a dimension of love and gratitude which will spread contagiously to others and help us be a force for good in the world.
Story
It was an unseasonably hot day. Everybody, it seemed, was looking for some kind of relief, so an ice cream store was a natural place to stop.
A little girl, clutching her money tightly, entered the store. Before she could say a word, the store clerk sharply told her to get outside and read the sign on the door, and to stay out until she put on some shoes. She left slowly, and a big man followed her out of the store.
He watched as she stood in front of the store and read the sign: No Bare Feet. Tears started rolling down her cheeks as she turned and walked away. Just then the big man called to her. Sitting down on the curb, he took off his size 12 shoes, and set them in front of the girl saying, “Here, you won’t be able to walk in these, but if you sort of slide along, you can get your ice cream cone.”
Then he lifted the little girl up and set her feet into the shoes. “Take your time,” he said, “I get tired of moving them around, and it will feel good to just sit here and eat my ice cream.” The shining eyes of the little girl could not be missed as she shuffled up to the counter and ordered her ice cream cone.
He was a big man, all right. Big body, big shoes, but most of all, he had a big heart.
Discussion
1. Why do you think the man in the story gave his shoes to the little girl?
2. Do we sometimes think kind thoughts, but we’re too afraid to say them? What are we afraid of?
Assignment
1. With everyone participating, name five kind things you can say to make someone happy. (Example: “Thank you,” “I like the way you look today,” “You’re a good friend,” “I love you,” “You did a great job!”)
2. Make a special effort to use kind words in your home.
3. All family members give one compliment each day for a week.
Okay, my friends. Until the next episode, have a beautiful day and make sure you subscribe to my podcast, tell your friends about Solutions for Families, and come see me at paulafellingham.com. As always, I send you my love….
Here’s a quick question…Are you ready to have a more loving, peaceful family?With my 7 Step Parenting Course you can enjoy more love and peace in your home than perhaps you’ve ever dreamed of! If you’re ready for less contention and more kindness, this course is for you. AND, on paulafellingham.com you can sign up for my free parenting webinar where I share tips and solutions for families that really work! I’ll see you on the webinar!