In this episode, I teach a lesson on how to speak more positively and I encourage you to have your family and children listen together. When we speak unkindly to one another it destroys the loving atmosphere we want in our home, and it makes family members feel unhappy and unloved. How we’re spoken to often determines how we feel about ourselves.
Communication can be negative (unkind) or positive (kind). When we speak unkindly to one another it destroys the loving atmosphere we want in our home, and it makes family members feel unhappy and unloved. On the other hand, when we speak in a positive and kind way to one another, our family is happier.
It is so important to speak positively, because people usually become what they are told they are.
Try each day to turn negative comments into positive ones. Remember that any habit is hard to break. Be kind to yourselves and have patience with one another as you try to improve. As you help one another speak more positively, it will be easier to improve.
5 benefits of positive speaking:
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This is Solutions for Families – where parents come with problems and leave with solutions. I’m Paula Fellingham – thank you for joining me!
Hello and welcome! Today’s episode is how to speak more positively.
Communication can be negative (unkind) or positive (kind). When we speak unkindly to one another it destroys the loving atmosphere we want in our home, and it makes family members feel unhappy and unloved. On the other hand, when we speak in a positive and kind way to one another, our family is happier. Those who hear praise, encouragement and loving words usually have good feelings about themselves and they can more easily be loving and thoughtful to others.
Let’s show our appreciation and love to each other by the way we talk.
How we’re spoken to often determines how we feel about ourselves. Those feelings, either good or bad, help determine our self-talk. An example of negative self-talk is, “I’m so stupid!” An example of good self-talk is to think, “That’s not like me. I usually don’t make mistakes like that.”
Self-fulfilling prophecies are things people say to us that sometimes affect the way we act. For example, if a child is told, “You’ll never be a good athlete!” he may believe it and never improve his athletic skills. On the other hand, positive comments work wonders. For example, when a parent says to a child, “You are a very obedient boy!” they encourage obedience by helping the child believe he always obeys. It is so important to speak positively, because people usually become what they are told they are.
Story
In a small Mexican village, a man named Jose had a terrible argument with his son Pedro. During the argument Jose and Pedro angrily criticized one another and spoke very harshly. The next day Jose discovered that Pedro’s bed was empty. He had run away from home.
Overcome with remorse, Jose knew that his son was the most important thing in his life. He wanted to communicate his feelings to his son. Jose wanted somehow to get a message to Pedro. The father went to the store in the center of town and posted a large sign that read, “Pedro, please come home. I love you. Meet me here tomorrow morning.”
The next morning Jose went to the store where he found five boys named Pedro who had also run away from home. Each boy had answered the call for love, each one hoping it was his father asking him to come home.
Discussion
1. Sometimes do we say things in anger that we don’t really mean?
2. We all want to be loved. Name some ways we can communicate love to others.
Activity
For our activity, we’re going to change negative statements into positive ones. Let’s take turns and do one statement at a time.
∙ “You are a slow runner!” Example answer: “With practice you can be a fast runner!”
∙ “I can’t do that.” Example answer: “I’m having trouble with this. I’ll try it again.”
∙ “You never agree with me!” Example answer: “Usually we agree on things. Can you try looking at it this way?”
∙ “How can you be so stupid?” Example answer: “You know, I’ve made that same mistake myself!”
∙ “I hate you!” Example answer: “I feel really angry at what you did!”
∙ “I’m ugly.” Example answer: “I want to look better.”
∙ “Our family can’t spell.” Example answer: “Spelling isn’t what we’re best at, but look at all the words you spelled right!”
∙ “You can’t ever do anything right!” Example: “You usually do this well. Why don’t you try it this way...”
∙ “Shut up!” Example: “Please be quiet.”
Try each day to turn negative comments into positive ones. Remember that any habit is hard to break. Be kind to yourselves and have patience with one another as you try to improve. As you help one another speak more positively, it will be easier to improve.
Positive speaking shows kindness. It aims at strengthening relationships by building up the other person.
5 benefits of positive speaking:
Focusing on the positive while speaking to others helps put life and relationships in perspective, especially when things seem to be going badly. It says, “We are in this together and we are going to win.”
Marital therapist Richard Stuart believes that uncensored communication may be more than a relationship can bear. We shouldn’t say hurtful, unkind things simply because we believe them to be true. Strong families understand this and work toward a type of measured honesty that is kind. Too often people use the excuse “I’m only being honest” to be overly critical. This is destructive to relationships. Be sensitively honest, speak positively and always be kind.
Okay, my friends. Until the next episode, have a beautiful day and make sure you subscribe to my podcast, tell your friends about Solutions for Families, and come see me at paulafellingham.com. As always, I send you my love….