In this episode, I teach a lesson on how to make responsible decisions and I encourage you to have your family and children listen together. One of the most important skills to teach in the home is how to make decisions. Making decisions is a fundamental skill that is important throughout life.
Children learn this best in families when they have many opportunities to make decisions and when parents explain the reasons for their decisions. Young people who haven’t made decisions about who they are and what they want to do in life are the most vulnerable to peer pressure. Inexperienced decision-makers are more likely to rely on others to make their decisions and define their values for them.
The Decision-Making Process
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This is Solutions for Families – where parents come with problems and leave with solutions. I’m Paula Fellingham – thank you for joining me!
Hello and welcome! Today’s episode is how to make responsible decisions.
One of the most important skills to teach in the home is how to make decisions. Children learn this best in families when they have many opportunities to make decisions and when parents explain the reasons for their decisions.
Making decisions is a fundamental skill that is important throughout life. Young people who haven’t made decisions about who they are and what they want to do in life are the most vulnerable to peer pressure. Inexperienced decision-makers are more likely to rely on others to make their decisions and define their values for them. On the other hand, those who make many decisions as they’re growing up are usually more capable of making choices that will result in their happiness and growth.
Decision-making can, and should, be encouraged by parents from a fairly early point in childhood. Young children can’t make many decisions alone because they don’t have the experience to avoid safety hazards, to always act in their own best interest, or decide within a value system. Parents can, however, let them make “choices within limits.” Parents can say, “You can’t play in the street, but you can play in the backyard or in the house. Which would you like to do?” Or, “It’s almost time for bed. Would you rather get ready for bed now and then read until it’s sleep time, or would you like to play a board game and then get ready for bed?”
It’s important that when parents offer choices there really is a choice for the child. Avoid saying things like, “Do you want to get ready for dinner?” when you really mean, “Get ready for dinner now.” Don’t imply that a choice exists when it really doesn’t.
The same idea of decisions within limits can be used as children get older. As children grow, they can be given more and more responsibility and greater opportunity to make their own decisions. Of course, the decisions will still be within parental limits. Choices about clothes to wear, when to do homework, or how to spend allowance can be increasingly turned over to school-age children. It is important for parents to be supportive of their children’s efforts to make decisions. Doing so will increase a child’s confidence in his ability to make good decisions.
At times, children make choices that parents know beforehand will not work. Sometimes, however, letting children experience for themselves the consequences of their decisions will be a better teacher than parental advice or authority. Helping children consider alternatives that they haven’t considered, then standing back while the child decides, is one of the fine arts of parenting.
Suppose we wanted to take a trip. What would be the best way to get there? Choosing a route is a lot like the process we go through when we make a decision. We should consider many possible routes or solutions. Next, we should look at the benefits and costs of each alternative way: time; comfort; cost; scenery; etc. We will then be able to choose the route that will best meet our needs. Similarly, when we make any meaningful decision we should consider several solutions, then make our best choice based on the information we have. There are usually a number of ways we can accomplish things. Making good decisions is the process of identifying the one way that will work best for us.
Finally, after we’ve given all possible solutions careful thought, and we’ve made our best decision, we should not look back with regret. Later, if our decision is proven to be the wrong one, we should remember that we made the best decision we could, with the information we had at the time.
The Decision-Making Process
Keep in mind that decision-making doesn’t mean that there is one universal “right” choice for most issues. Different people choose different ways to solve problems that can be equally successful.
Okay, my friends. Until the next episode, have a beautiful day and please subscribe to my podcast, tell your friends about Solutions for Families, and come see me on paulafellingham.com. As always, I send you my love….