In this episode, I teach a lesson on how to give and receive affection and I encourage you to have your family and children listen together. People express affection in different ways, but none of us really outgrow our need for affection. We all have a need to receive affection if we are to become the best that we can be. We also need to give affection freely so others know we care.
None of us really outgrow our need for affection. The outward signs may not be as clear as with small babies, but many people “fail to thrive” because of lack of affection. We all have a need to receive affection if we are to become the best that we can be. We also need to give affection freely so others know we care.
People express affection in different ways. Some are more comfortable than others giving and receiving affection. For some it is very natural to give kisses, hugs or pats on the back. For others this can seem awkward. Some people find it easy to speak warmly and affectionately. For others, doing something for someone is their way of showing affection. It should also be remembered that children have different personalities and sometimes prefer different expressions of affection.
You can determine appropriate ways to show affection to each family member by asking the following questions:
∙ When you are feeling upset, what can someone do to show they care about you?
∙ If you had just received an award, how could someone show they are happy for you?
∙ When you want to show someone you care, would you be more likely to do something special for them, praise them, or give them a hug?
Mentioned on the Show:
Connect with Paula:
Facebook: @paula.fellingham
Instagram: @paulafellingham
LinkedIn: @paulafellingham
Website: paulafellingham.com
Subscribe to Podcast
This is Solutions for Families – where parents come with problems and leave with solutions. I’m Paula Fellingham – thank you for joining me!
Hello and welcome! Today’s episode is how to give and receive affection.
Some years ago, hospitals and orphanages discovered a fascinating phenomenon known as the “Failure to Thrive” syndrome. Babies who were in the hospital for a long time began to lose weight, they were not learning to sit up or crawl, and they didn’t show any interest in what was going on around them. In some cases, they even died. At first authorities were very puzzled by the problem. These babies were being cared for physically in every way that was needed. Doctors came to realize that these babies were not receiving enough affection. Nurses were told to hold the babies often, and to take time from their duties to talk and sing to the babies. Miraculously, the babies began to grow and progress. Today, most hospitals have a rocking chair in the nursery for nurses and volunteers to hold and rock babies regularly.
None of us really outgrow our need for affection. The outward signs may not be as clear as with small babies, but many people “fail to thrive” because of lack of affection. We all have a need to receive affection if we are to become the best that we can be. We also need to give affection freely so others know we care.
People express affection in different ways. Some are more comfortable than others giving and receiving affection. For some it is very natural to give kisses, hugs or pats on the back. For others this can seem awkward. Some people find it easy to speak warmly and affectionately. For others, doing something for someone is their way of showing affection. It should also be remembered that children have different personalities and sometimes prefer different expressions of affection.
Family members need to make an effort to show appropriate affection for each other in a sensitive way that allows all family members to feel comfortable.
You can determine appropriate ways to show affection to each family member by asking the following questions:
∙ When you are feeling upset, what can someone do to show they care about you?
∙ If you had just received an award, how could someone show they are happy for you?
∙ When you want to show someone you care, would you be more likely to do something special for them, praise them, or give them a hug?
Listen to how everyone answers each question, one question at a time. The different ways people express affection is just one of the many differences between us. Differences aren’t wrong or bad, they are just differences. One of the greatest ways to show someone we truly care about them is to accept them the way they are. Acceptance is a great source of support to people. It says, “You don’t have to change for me. I like you just the way you are.”
The giving and receiving of affection in a family is one of the indications of their strength or weakness. Families should give and receive affection freely. The benefits of showing genuine love and kindness to one another will be felt for generations.
Okay, my friends. Until the next episode, have a beautiful day and please subscribe to my podcast, tell your friends about Solutions for Families, and come see me on paulafellingham.com. As always, I send you my love….
And - if you have a question about something I’ve said or about anything going on in your family – or in your life - I invite you to my free weekly Zoom call! It’s Ask Paula Anything – every Thursday morning at 9am Pacific Time. I share MORE tips and solutions on that call, where you can ask me a question anonymously, or just listen to the others. You’re welcome to email your question and I’ll answer it without saying your name… email AskPaula@PaulaFellingham.com. I love these calls where some people have big breakthrough moments. Just click on ASK PAULA on my website PaulaFellingham.com.