Solutions for Families

How To Prevent Problems

Episode Summary

In this episode, I teach a lesson on the importance of family values and I encourage you to have your family and children listen together. To avoid conflicts, families should do all they can to prevent problems before they occur.

Episode Notes

Talking about things that might occur helps us make decisions in advance.  Hopefully, when the time comes to make a similar decision, we will have thought it through and will choose wisely.

Preventing a problem is usually easier, and more desirable, than trying to solve the problem.

There are several ways we can help prevent problems:

  1. Use a kind tone of voice when speaking.
  2. Communicate our feelings and let people know how they can help us.
  3. Avoid sarcastic humor and eliminate criticism.
  4. Try to sense how a family member is feeling and carefully speak or act in a way that will help him.
  5. Keep an open mind and consider the ideas and suggestions of others.  Don’t be                      defensive. 
  6. Give one another high, positive expectations for behavior.
  7. Think through and discuss possible problem situations before they happen.

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions For Families

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Website: paulafellingham.com

Episode Transcription

This is Solutions for Families – where parents come with problems and leave with solutions. I’m Paula Fellingham – thank you for joining me!

Hello and welcome! Today’s episode is how to prevent problems.

To avoid conflicts, families should do all they can to prevent problems before they occur.

Rather than wait until a conflict arises, it is always better to anticipate it and avoid it.  

There are several ways we can help prevent problems:

  1. Use a kind tone of voice when speaking.
  2. Communicate our feelings and let people know how they can help us.
  3. Avoid sarcastic humor and eliminate criticism.
  4. Try to sense how a family member is feeling and carefully speak or act in a way that              will help him.
  5. Keep an open mind and consider the ideas and suggestions of others.  Don’t be                      defensive. 
  6. Give one another high, positive expectations for behavior. Example:  Parent to child: “I know that as soon as you’re finished eating, you’ll  start doing your homework.” Example:  Child to parent: “I’m sure you’ll try to understand what I have to say.”
  7. Think through and discuss possible problem situations before they happen. Example:  What if a stranger asked to take you home? Example:  What if you were at school and an older student pushed you?

Talking about things that might occur helps us make decisions in advance.  Hopefully, when the time comes to make a similar decision, we will have thought it through and will choose wisely.

Preventing a problem is usually easier, and more desirable, than trying to solve the problem.

Story    

For years an old farmer plowed around a large rock in his field.  The times he hit the rock by mistake resulted in one broken cultivator and two broken plowshares.  Each time he approached the rock he worried about how much crop land he was losing because of it, and he resented the damage it had done to his equipment.

One day he decided he had suffered enough, and the farmer set out to dig the rock up and be done with it.  Putting a large crowbar under one side, he found to his surprise that the rock was less that a foot deep in the ground.  Soon he had it in his wagon and was carrying it away.  The farmer smiled as he thought about how that “big” old rock had caused him many years of needless problems.

Activity

For our activity we’re going to play the “What If?” game.  We can use the questions in the lesson, or we can make up our own.  Questions asked should be ones which can help us prevent possible problems.  (Everyone should participate in answering the questions.)

1.  What if a fire started in the home while you were alone?

2.  What if you were at a party when people started doing things you think are wrong?

3.  What if you were tending someone’s child when he cut himself badly?

4.  What if you were taking a test at school when the student behind you asked for an answer?

5.  What if you were at a friend’s house, and when it was time to go home, the movie you were watching wasn’t finished

CHOICES WHICH PREVENT AND SOLVE PROBLEMS

⧫ Simplify Your Life.  It’s easy to get too busy.  Whenever possible, eliminate activities that complicate your life.  Choose the most important things and concentrate on them.  Simplify your life.

⧫ Keep Things in Perspective.  Problems are a normal part of life.  Remember that everyone has problems.  Occasionally ask yourself, “Will this really matter in ten years?”  Keep a long-term perspective on life and your problems.

⧫ Rid Yourself of Worries.  Worry weakens your energy.  It reduces your ability to function well.  Do something about the things which worry you.  If you can’t do anything about a problem, worrying won’t make it better.  When you wake up each morning, set goals you can reach that day.  Do your best, then don’t worry about things you can’t do.

⧫ Live Outside of Yourself.  Helping others and providing support for others is a good way to forget your own problems.  Develop friendships and positive relationships outside of your family.  Love and care for people, animals and the environment.  Living out-side of yourself will bring you great joy.

⧫ Enjoy Nature as a Family.  Many families find outdoor activities refreshing.  There is something special and rejuvenating about being out in nature.  Try walks, picnics, camping, zoos, fishing, outdoor sports.  Exercise is very beneficial to your well-being.  Develop exercise habits you can enjoy as a family.

⧫ Develop a Sense of Humor.  Humor can drive away stress and worry.  Humor can prevent problems in almost magical ways.  Being able to laugh at some of the things that happen to us keeps life in perspective.  Humor lightens loads and helps people relax.  Laugh at yourself and laugh with others. Find the humor in your life.

Okay, my friends. Until the next episode, have a beautiful day and please subscribe to my podcast, tell your friends about Solutions for Families, and come see me on paulafellingham.com. As always, I send you my love….